Chapter 5

Chapter 5


It was early evening and Meredith Heaton anxiously paced the floors of her office. Amelia would probably be arriving soon and she had done her best to prepare for her arrival. She had sent most of the staff home to rest after a long week of work with a particularly difficult group of families. It was a necessary attribute for a counselor to be a good listener but Meredith had always believed it was even more important to be an eternal optimist. She saw so many successful turnarounds that it made her hopeful and confident that real healing had taken place. She only hoped that she could do the same for Amelia. The amount of love she felt for her girl overwhelmed her for a moment and her concern grew to a frantic level. She wanted so badly to speak with her and ease her mind about what was troubling her. Jack could not give any clarity to what was going on but Meredith had a feeling that there was something that he was not saying. She tried calling Amelia's cell phone again and got her voicemail once again. She thought fondly of the days when Amelia first came to her. The lonely, bright and quiet girl of fourteen was an instant soul sister. Meredith's heart responded to her in a very motherly way from their first meeting. She smiled at the memory of their first meeting.


It all began in the winter of 1999. Meredith and George had planned a benefit to raise funds for the Center at Camp Camilla. Meredith had established a charity with the money that her father had left her to allow families to come for counseling. The Center would cater to people of all backgrounds and the main feature of the Center would be the counseling rooms and of course the island. Her plan was to host events through the year to raise money for travel and expenses for those families that needed their services. It was Meredith's brainchild from the early days of her career to make a legacy for future generations of families. She was on the verge of introducing the idea of the Center to as many of her rich friends as she could gather in one place. To prepare she had rented every available room within driving distance and because of the magnitude of the event everyone in the area was abuzz with the festivities. It would be a celebration to remember. So many people from the towns had been hired to help with all of the preparations that several businesses would be closing down for the week to aid the celebration.


Meredith had heard news of Carolynne Devine's culinary talents and visited her kitchen multiple times to sample Carolynne's skillful creations. Convinced of her superior skills, Meredith wouldn't rest until she agreed to come and take care of the food for the days of celebration. Carolynne finally relented when Meredith explained that her expertise in the kitchen would be experienced by many great people of influence. Carolynne had a desire to grow her own business and perhaps open her own restaurant some day and the prospect of meeting so many influential people was exciting.


Everything had been building up to this time. Meredith and George had worked tirelessly through the previous years, renovating and restoring each of the cabins with updated furniture and bed linens, modernizing the old building with new plumbing and fixtures. They had constructed five new cabins and expanded the boathouse to accommodate larger groups. They also added a conference building with large rooms with views of the water. Meredith's special addition was to redo the barns that had never been used to full capacity for animals with their high ceilings and crosscut beams into large ballrooms for banquets and parties. They added modern kitchen facilities to the barns complete with every convenience of a modern restaurant. They had hired more grounds crew to keep the pathways clean of snow and the main road into the camp plowed and de-iced.


Amelia's job as Carolynne assistant was expanded that year and she became more and more important in the Seasons kitchen. Carolynne asked Meredith if it would all right for Amelia to attend their first planning meeting to take notes for the event. They arrived earlier than Meredith expected and her first glimpse of Amelia was of the quiet girl staring in awe of the countless books that filled the shelves in the main lodge. Meredith encouraged her to look through them all, happy to find a fellow book lover in her midst. Carolynne protested but gave her permission. Meredith's cook at the time had been there for ages and was nearing retirement and Meredith insisted that she show Carolynne around both of the kitchen facilities to make sure that everything was up to her specifications.


Amelia was shy at first but talking about books brought out a spirited discussion. When Amelia explained the reasons she didn't think Wuthering Heights deserved to be a classic, Meredith knew that she had just met her literary match. In the days leading up to the gala Meredith and Amelia became great friends.


Their conversation that day left a mark on Meredith's heart and Amelia's place in it continued to grow. So much had happened to the girl, so much she had already been through. Meredith worried once again about what could have happened that would bring on this trip.


Meredith blew out a breath of frustration, when her phone rang. Meredith dove for it and hurriedly raised the phone to her ear.


“Hello?” Meredith said, quickly hoping that it might be Amelia calling back.


“Meredith?” a familiar voice asked, “It's Carrie, Jack's sister.”


“Hello, Carrie,” Meredith spoke softly with a sigh. She couldn't remember the last time Carrie had called her.


Carrie hesitated, “Meredith, I have some things to explain.”


“Okay.” Meredith answered, her breath tight in her throat.


“You may want to sit down. It is a very long story.” Carrie replied.


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Amelia stopped to grab a bite to eat in Albany. The trip was beginning to wear on her but she was so close to home that she couldn't imagine not arriving that evening. She took a bathroom break and bought a sandwich at Subway and took it out to her car to eat. She didn't feel like being around people so she moved her car to a shaded spot in the parking lot and opened the windows to let the breeze blow in.


The seemingly endless hours in the car had been tedious and she was starting to feel guilty about the way she had left Florida. Another call to her work that morning had made her defiant. Her supervisor was rude and Amelia didn't know if she would have a job when she returned. Not that she cared at this point. She was a nurse and nurses could get jobs anywhere. She wasn't even sure if she would return yet. Everything was too confusing.


The guilt came from her memories of Jack and with Jack. The jumble of memories flowed easily. Thoughts of his betrayal were fresh but so were all of their tender moments. The two men she saw in her mind didn't coincide with each other and confused her greatly. The irony of it was the one person that she wanted to call to talk about it was Jack. She had almost stopped the car to call and talk with him but her fear overcame her again and she had fought hard not to do it.


Now that the car was stopped and she was alone in the silence Jack filled her thoughts. She wanted to hear his voice, wanted to roll back the day and not see him with Samantha. She picked up her phone and turned it on. She knew that there would be no cell phone reception at the camp and any messages would be unavailable to her. She knew that he was probably worried about her. He was probably wondering where she was.


After a few minutes of internal debate she finally called to get her messages. The mechanical female voice announced that there were five messages waiting for her. Her anxiety rose as she pushed the 1 key to hear her messages. Her heart melted at the sound of Jack's voice.


The first was from Jack from around noon the day before.


Amelia? Hey, I'm coming home in a little bit. Will you carve out a little time for dinner tonight? I'll throw something together for dinner. I'm going home early from work. I have something we really need to discuss, okay? Call when you get this, Thanks. Bye.


The second message was from Meredith. Her voice was full of concern.


Amelia, call me when you get this. I called Jack and told him you were coming here and he seemed surprised. What is going on? I want to help.


The next message was from Carrie.


Hi, sweetie. I heard from Jack and know you are traveling. Please come home. Please remember I love you and Jack loves you too. Call me, bye


Message number four made the tears flow.


Amelia, where are you? I talked to Meredith and she told me you were leaving to visit her. What is going on? Why did you leave? I really need to talk to you. I can't believe that you just left. I've been so worried. We need to talk.


I need to explain about Sam. I don't know how you know but let's talk okay? I just want to know if you're all right.


Call me.


The hurt in Jack's voice was genuine but as Amelia hung up the phone she wondered at his insistence to talk. There was one more message and she could see that it was from Jack but she didn't want to listen to it. In both messages from Jack there were no reassurances of his love. No explanation for why he was with Sam. No explanations why she was there in the first place. It was too much. She wanted to talk to Jack but the fear of losing him rose up again.


She powered off her phone, leaving the final message unheard. She didn't feel like she could deal with any of it. Maybe after a few days, she thought but not right now. There was too much. There was so much to lose. So much that she didn't want to think about. In her mind's eye she watched her father walk out the door when she was four. She saw her mother crying for him to stay and the pain that was so apparent in her face, the pain that had never quite left her face in all that time. Until the day he finally came back.


Amelia pushed back on the thoughts that invaded her mind but they flowed in unrelenting anyway. Pictures of her parent's reunion filled her mind, flowing through her with abandon. Her mother had been so happy when her father came that day. Jed Raddington came riding into their lives that day and changed it forever. Amelia could see the attraction physically. His face was handsome but beyond that her interest in him was baffling. Amelia admitted to herself early on that she was wary of him. Her experiences with other men in her mother's life had taught many important lessons about relationships. Lessons her own mother seemed to repeat on a yearly basis. Lesson number one, don't trust a man just because he's there.


Her mother had explained his faults to her enough times to be unconvinced with his sincerity. He had a strut, the air of a confidence man out for a score and the smile he had for Amelia was more of a leer until her mother explained her parentage to him. He spoke with a fake drawl that came out of his mouth as slick as anything. He had a terrible mouth filling his sentences with all sorts of curse words that would put a sailor to shame. His reaction to Amelia was aloof not really acknowledging her presence one minute and talking too closely with familiarity the next.  It was always worse when he had been drinking.  Then it went from creepy to uncomfortable. It surprised Amelia to this day that such a con man could be her father and the utter lack of interest that he had in his daughter. It wasn't yet apparent that he would leave nothing but destruction in his wake. But it was the day everything in her life rapidly changed.


Within days Jed was living with them in their tiny apartment. Her mother kicked her out of the bedroom that first night and told her to spend the night a Carolynne's. The hurt inflicted by that rejection numbed her to her core. Carolynne was accommodating and sympathetic. It was summertime and Carolynne was transitioning between her job at Seasons and her new position at the Center with Meredith. After the smashing success of the gala event, Meredith offered Carolynne a full-time position at the center to serve not only as their event food specialist but to replace the retiring cook of Camp Camilla. By fall Carolynne would be living full-time on site in her own cabin. When Amelia had come to Carolynne she offered to let Amelia live in her spare room until her father left the house.


That summer was difficult because every interaction with her mother turned into a shouting match. It was mostly her mother that did the shouting, insisting that Amelia not ruin this for her.  Amelia tried to reason with her, trying to convince her mother that Jed was bad news. Anna fought back, telling Amelia that she didn't have any business telling her what to do and that she couldn't be happier now that Jed was back in her life. Amelia was back and forth between the couch in the front room at her mother's and the spare room at Carolynne's until the night that ended everything.


It was around nine o'clock and her mother was out with friends. Amelia had fallen asleep on the couch while watching television when Jed came stumbling into the room. She woke to him grabbing at her clothes and she only just managed to wake up enough to realize what he was doing and get away. She still shuddered to think what he would have done to her if she had not woken in time. He came at her yelling and cursing for her to just sit down and chill. He caught her arm at one point and tried to pull her into the bedroom with him. She managed to get him off balance enough to get out of his grip and tried to get the front door open but he blocked her way out. He was leering at her and saying the terrible things he would do if she didn't stop. He took some swipes at her and struck her in the head and ribs.  He had hit her clumsily scratching her cheek and making it bleed. She could only think of getting away. She surprised him by not going for the front door but turning around to the bedroom and locking the door. Her face and body ached but she managed to open the window before he could find the key to unlock the door. That night she ran away and never looked back.


On that difficult day, Carolynne wasn't home and she was worried that Jed would come after her so Amelia walked eight miles toward Camp Camilla before she met Meredith and George on the road. They were on their way home from an event in town but when they saw Amelia and the state she was in they took her to their cabin to take care of her. George was the resident doctor on site and patched up Amelia's cut. Amelia was always at Camp Camilla because Carolynne insisted she come and Meredith and George made the decision to watch over her.  Amelia even liked George, Meredith's soft spoken, gentle husband. He was quiet but kind and they had an easy way together. He let Amelia come to him on her terms and it went a long way to sealing their friendship.


When they saw her injuries and heard her story they called the police and had them arrest Jed. The injuries he had inflicted were documented and recorded. The court awarded Meredith temporary custody of Amelia. Anna bailed Jed out of jail and was outraged by the court's decision. She called Meredith and demanded that Amelia come home. She accused Meredith of stealing her daughter away and threatened a lawsuit. Meredith quietly informed Anna that she was welcome to visit her daughter alone but that Jed would never be welcome on her property. Anna did not call again or visit that entire summer.


That summer was difficult.  Amelia healed physically but struggled with the choice her mother had made to stay with Jed.  She was young but she understood the wrongness of a mother abandoning her child for anyone.  It was hard to take in.  Luckily, Meredith, George and Carolynne took her under their collective wing even working some sessions with another counselor at the Center. 


Carolynne was the first to take notice of her and treat her kindly and she would always love her for it but Meredith was the first adult in her life that treated her like an intellectual equal. Meredith seemed easy with the world and she understood people in a way that impressed Amelia greatly. She had a measure of compassion and practicality about people that was really startling. She had finally found adults that acted like she had always imagined they should and it made her feel more at ease than she had been in her entire life. As much as she appreciated Carolynne for all she had done for her in getting her away from home, her friendship with Meredith had an air of equality that was empowering. She would always love Carolynne for all she had done for her and she was grateful that through her she met her new family. George and Meredith offered her a room in their home for as long as she wanted one.


It wasn't until the fall that Anna called again. Jed had left to travel for a few weeks and she was alone. She called to talk to Amelia but ended up trying to defend Jed. Amelia didn't have much to say after that and refused to speak with her mother. The fall turned into winter and without the constraints on her time and the freedom of Camp Camilla, Amelia thrived. She gained a healthy amount of weight and her thin frame rounded out nicely. She lived life with an ease that had always eluded her in the past and she was grateful every day for it.


In May she turned fifteen and worked with Carolynne in the kitchen at Camp Camilla. The newly opened Center was thriving and busy. Families and people from all over the country came to be counseled by Meredith and her capable staff. It was a great success and Amelia felt safe and at home for maybe the first time in her entire life. She was given responsibility over the vegetable gardens and watching out for the aging Camilla.  She spent many days in the libraries and could often be found sitting by the lake with a book in hand.


Later that summer her mother called to ask for a visit. Amelia agreed to meet her at a diner in town for lunch. George sat in the car to wait for her and make sure that things were all right. The conversation that would change her life was moments away and Amelia sensed that she should prepare herself.


“Amelia, you know that Jed has been here with me for this year and he's real sorry about upsetting you. He'd like to try again.” she said in her kindest, motherly voice. “Now you know he's real sorry and won't be a bother again.”


Amelia shuddered at the memory. She couldn't believe her mother would suggest it much less defend him when he was so clearly in the wrong.  Despite the strong feeling of protectiveness she felt for her mom returning to her mother with Jed there was unthinkable.


Amelia remained silent. She watched the front door, planning her escape. Her mother continued to speak.


“Amelia, you're not thinking right. We were happy weren't we? And now your daddy's come home. I've waited so long and now he's here and wants us to be a family.”


Amelia watched her mother, her anger bubbling up quickly. The heart and flowers description of him was nauseating. She could feel the disgust that must have been clear on her face. Her mother looked back at her with surprise and frustration.  Amelia's words came out with a force that she didn't know she could speak with.


“How can you defend him!?" she raged at the top of her voice,"He hit me! He hurt me! He ripped my clothes.  He was trying to..." she paused as shock appeared on her mother's face,"Who knows what would have happened if I hadn't gotten away? If you think I'm ever coming back to you while he is there, you're crazy.” Her mother was pale when she looked back at Amelia and she knew that some of what she said was new information. Apparently Jed hadn't told her everything about that night after all.


She was seething when she turned to head out the front door until she saw Jed's familiar figure in front of the door. Anxiety filled her as she realized it was her only way out. Jed started toward them and smiled at them both. Amelia glared at them both trying to find a way around Jed's imposing figure. Jed sat down with Anna and smiled up at Amelia with all the innocence of a child. The disgust she felt for him was overwhelming.


“Sit down, Amelia. You're making a scene.” Anna said calmly. Amelia sat in her chair and tried to figure out how to signal George. She couldn't see his car from where she was sitting. She wanted to leave.  She wondered if she would be quick enough to get away from Jed when he was sober. She sincerely doubted it.


Jeb's smile turned into a sneer as he slung an arm around Anna's shoulders. Amelia's gut twisted as she looked at him.


“Did you tell her the good news, yet?” Jeb asked watching Amelia's face.


“News?” Amelia asked a feeling of dread sweeping over her.


Anna smiled up at Jed with a sickeningly sweet smile. “Yes, hon. I wasn't going to say anything but we're expected again! You're going to be a sister!” Amelia sat in shock, stunned by the news. Jed smirked at the look on her face.


Amelia stood up to leave and Jed followed her motions.


“Sit back down now, and be polite. Your mother's not done talking.” Jed threatened.  He was imposing and Amelia looked around again for a way out but sat down.


Anna waited for her to sit and then continued, “Amelia, we're leaving to live near Jed's brother in Montana. He has a cabin we can stay in and your dad will get a job building houses. There's a school not too far and you can finish up high school there.”


Amelia looked at her blankly, “I already told you that I won't be with you until Jed leaves.”


Jed's face turned red and he spoke through clenched teeth, “I'm not going nowhere, girl, so you better get used to it. I'll show you a thing or two about talking back to your mother.”


He made a move toward Amelia and she got up out of her seat and backed into the corner. She tried to look for a way around him but there didn't seem to be a path.


“Amelia?” a strong and firm voice said from behind Jed. Jed turned to see George standing steadily behind him. George was not a big man but he stood tall and strong with a look rivaling outrage on his face. George walked around Jed and took Amelia around the shoulders protectively. Jed watched this menacingly but didn't speak.


“I'm sorry I was late.” he said softly keeping Amelia away from Jed as he eased her through the narrow space to head toward the door.


“It's okay, Uncle George,”Amelia said with relief.


Making sure that Amelia was safely out of reach, George moved to get around Jed with determination. Jed was outraged that George was taking charge.


“Hey, that's my daughter not yours and we're not done here.” he said with a scowl. Moving forward quickly and grabbing hold of Amelia by the arm.


What happened next happened so fast that Amelia couldn't quite believe it. George pulled Jed's hand off of Amelia and in three skillful well placed moves to his jaw, chest and knees Jed fell to the ground in pain. George stood over Jed in a fight stance and then straightened up into his regular posture and took Amelia's hand.


“You dare lay your hands on a woman again and you'll have me to deal with.” George said defiantly. He turned to Anna and said quietly, "You have a job with us if you will leave with us.  Your daughter needs you."


Anna stared at George for a moment then rushed forward to aid Jed, not looking back as George led Amelia out to the car and home to Camp Camilla. Sadly, that was the last time Amelia saw her mother alive.


She didn't hear from her mother until she was nineteen. They spoke on the phone only briefly. She was in trouble with Jed and wanted to come and stay with Amelia. Amelia had just started college and had no where for her to stay. Jed had abused her for years and she had lost the baby that she was carrying. She was back to staying with friends in Minnesota. She pleaded for Amelia to give her a second chance and apologized for letting Jed take control. Amelia agreed to visit her that summer. They left the call on good terms and Amelia was hopeful for a reconciliation that summer.


A few months later, Meredith received the call from a hospital in Minnesota where Jed had left her after a particularly brutal beating. Meredith and Amelia flew to see her but they were too late. She died shortly after that, dying of her injuries in a Minnesota hospital. Amelia mourned her loss greatly but Meredith stayed on with her for a long time.  Jed was on the run for a while but was finally caught and put in jail for her death.


That time was very difficult for Amelia.  She missed her mother more than ever.  Anna was cremated and Amelia took her remains to Camp Camilla and scattered her ashes into the lake. Her mother had always loved the water.


The years had passed and the memories of the horror of that time had faded but as Amelia's thoughts turned back to Jack she realized it was part of the fear that gripped her now. Life had turned on a dime too many times for her to not panic at this new development. Their life had been so happy. Until yesterday. She knew better than anyone the way that events could rush forward, seemingly unstoppable.


No, she thought to herself, I've had my world crash in on me before. If it is going to crash, I want to be prepared for it. I can't think of dealing with it otherwise.


Her thoughts had been so extensive that she hadn't realized how close she was to home. She sighed in contentment when she stopped at the gate that barred the way in to Camp Camilla and entered the code for the gate to open. As she drove down the road, the peace that had eluded her fell silently over her a small smile forming on her lips and she knew that she was almost home.