Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Amelia woke with a start and looked around herself in confusion. The time on the clock said 7:14. Her breath was hot in her throat and the tendrils of her dream still held the images in place in her mind. She shook her head to wake herself then laid back on her pillows, pulling one in front of her face and letting out a groan. Was there nowhere she could escape these feelings? Her dreams were full of Jack of what they were together. Lovely, handsome, steady Jack.

Echoes from her dream came through her and she replayed it all in her mind. The images were random, confusing but so real. He was with her on a beach vacation, running ahead of her and laughing. He was sitting across from her at their kitchen table, holding her close in their bed. He was getting ready for work in their bathroom fastening his tie in the mirror. He was holding her, smiling down into her face. It was so real that she could feel his arms around her, comforting her. Her heart ached for him now and yet sadness filled her to know he wasn't there. She had to talk to him.

She reached over to pick up the bedside phone, hoping she could catch him this morning before work. She dialed their home number once again and it rang until the voicemail picked up again. She sighed and hung up the phone. She dialed his cell number again but it went straight to voicemail. She thought of calling him at work but that would have to wait. He didn't usually get in until 8 or 9 o'clock and even then he wasn't always in the office. Amelia hung up the phone and groaned loudly again, falling back into her pillows. The memories were fresh and vibrant in her mind and she considered getting back in the car and driving home so that she could see what was going on. It was hard to stay mad at Jack and it was even harder to realize that she had been the one to leave without telling him.

It was really hard to face the fact that she was afraid. She knew it was ridiculous to have run away from home. She realized it even while she was driving but somehow that didn't stop her. It didn't feel like running away but retreating to home base. Although their life in Florida was good, there was something about this place that always felt more like home. She could gather her thoughts here better than anywhere in the world. As much as she hated to admit it, her life in Florida hadn't been going well lately and it wasn't just this with Jack. It was losing the baby, her change in job, her overall sadness. Camp Camilla had always been a place of comfort and protection and she felt it wrap her up now.

The problem was that now it was also alive with the memories of Jack and their time here and as much as she chided herself for her impulsivity in leaving Florida she felt like she had done the right thing. Nothing had felt right there since her miscarriage. Nothing had been right between the two of them either. She wondered for the first time in a long time how that had effected her relationship with Jack. She realized that he had tried to be there for her and she wouldn't let him get close. There had been many times he approached her and she had been too wrapped up in her own thoughts to care. She knew that he was hurting and she did nothing to ease that hurt. Her rejection of him was mean and she knew it was probably one of the reasons he was seeing Sam.

Her mind protested against that vehemently. He had no excuse for seeing Sam, no matter how bad their own relationship was, it didn't give him the right to see someone else. Anger brewed dully in her stomach and she looked at the clock. Still too early to call Jack at work. She decided to get dressed and find Meredith and George and maybe join them on their morning walk.

She dressed quickly, straightening her softest jeans and t-shirt combo and covering herself with a hooded sweatshirt that Jack had given her. She was going for comfort but she had to admit she didn't look bad. Her hair was easily fixed with a few swipes of the comb. She went without makeup but looked decent without it. She saw a hollowness in her eyes that was disturbing. It reminded her of what she had been through the last few days. She went down the stairs and out the front door that faced the lodge.

She smiled softly as she breathed in the cool morning air, the heavy dew splashing on her shoes. A fine mist hovered over the lake and the trees surrounding the lake were a bright green of the birches mixed with the dark green of the pines. Every season on the lake afforded spectacular scenery but this time of year was probably her favorite. Watching the forest come alive again was amazing. Wildflowers sprung up in the meadows and near the water around the lake, mushrooms sprouted in the forest, mature trees regained their leaves in a beautiful array of greens. The clear skies of June made the lake shine blue, reflecting perfectly the azure sky filled with white puffy clouds. Amelia decided to take a walk after breakfast so she could enjoy the morning.

Breakfast at Camp Camilla was always held at eight. It was a tradition that went back to its first days. Amelia had about a half an hour to kill before it was time to eat so she decided to canoe out to the island and look around. The cabin out there had been expanded from a one story shack to a two story wonder and Amelia wanted to see it in the glory of the morning. She might be a little late for breakfast but she was sure they would save her something nice. She went to the storage area under the boathouse and lifted the canoe carefully to the floor. It was heavier than she remembered and made a mental note that she needed to work out more often to strengthen her arms. She pushed the canoe into the slip and tied it to the pole next to it. She retrieved the oars from the hooks on the wall and set them into the canoe. She turned to choose a life jacket and found a red one with a zipper that was just her size. She walked out on the dock and eased herself carefully into the canoe and positioned the oars in their holders. She heard the sound of Meredith's voice calling her name the sound echoed across the lake. She turned to see Meredith, waving frantically from the rise above the boathouse and Amelia climbed out of the canoe to meet her.

"My dear! Where are you going?" Meredith said breathlessly, as she reached Amelia, "You can't go out on the lake alone!"

Amelia laughed out loud, "Why not? I do it all the time."

Meredith's frantic face softened a little to concern, "What I meant was you shouldn't go out alone. Not right before breakfast! We can row a little later in the day when it's warmer outside. Come, I had Connie make us a special breakfast just for you. It's your favorite."

Amelia smiled at that, remembered how much she liked the blueberry breakfast cake and sausage rolls that Connie made and her mouth watered in anticipation. Carolynne had left some time ago to start her own restaurant in New York City and had grown to enough renown to publish her own series of cookbooks that was selling well. In fact she had received calls from a few cable networks to make her own cooking show and she was considering a few offers. Amelia still spoke with her occasionally and still considered her like family. But Connie had been an excellent replacement for Carolynne. They had different styles but both made amazing food that made every meal at Camp Camilla one to look forward to.

She left the canoe tied up in it's slip and took her life jacket off and hung it out front so she would remember which one to wear later. Meredith waited for her and then took her hand in a friendly way, leading her up the rise and inside to the lodge's breakfast nook. George was already sitting there, peeling an orange then squirting some of the juice into his chamomile tea. He reached for the honey as well and looked up at Amelia with a smile.

The table was spread with a white cloth and there were already dishes of fruit waiting for them at their places. To change the subject away from her and Jack and to distract herself from her own thoughts she asked about the Center and how things were progressing. Meredith and George briefed her on the many families they had worked with recently, speaking in general terms about their progress together. The previous summer they decided to add a hospice center. They had been working for the children of cancer patients for years, working through their grief and hosting week long workshops for families dealing with loss. But George had decided that end of life care for a few families was needed.

Many families coming through the Center after the loss commented that they wished their family member could be there to experience this place as well. There had only been three families that had used the center as a hospice so far but the experience had buoyed them to a degree that George wanted to build another building to house a few more patients. Their charity generated millions of dollars a year to run the center and it's programs and they were thinking of ideas all of the time to keep it serving as many people as possible. George commented that he wanted to expand the staff also, giving caretakers a chance to be with children in desperate need of release as well as the chance to have fun with their surviving family.

The work of the Center warmed her heart and reminded Amelia of how much she loved working there helping Carolynne. It was really some of her own work with patients that had led her to become a nurse in the first place.

After breakfast the three of them took a walk around the lake. The grounds crew did an excellent job of maintaining the trails and wooden bridges. They had smoothed the way enough that even some wheelchairs could access the trail. It was a cathartic experience to walk in those woods and view that space in the world and Amelia felt the calm of the previous night returning to her. She looked out over the water and breathed in the fresh air. The beauty of this place filled her with awe and she watched her two parents with appreciation and love. They had never formally adopted her but they were more parent-like than anyone had ever been in her life. These feelings overcame her and when they stopped to take a break she pulled them both close. This surprised them both and they stood like that with her for a minute or two. Before pulling away she said, "I know I don't tell you enough how much I love and appreciate you both. Thank you for letting me come."

George smiled at Meredith, "You are welcome any time my dear. We love you greatly. You know that."

Meredith nodded at her husband, "You bring us so much joy, Amelia. You are the closest thing we have to our own daughter in this world. Our sons are across the world working hard and we are very proud of them both but you coming into our lives when you did has been nothing but a blessing."

Amelia's eyes filled with tears and she hugged them both again. They walked on silently. Amelia looked out over the lake again and watched the island. She had so many memories of this place that melded together to form a love that could not be broken. A movement on the island caught her eye and she peered closer. She saw some movement in the trees and wondered if a loon had made its way into the cove near the house.

Meredith interrupted her thoughts by asking her about her recent church work. Amelia had been involved in teaching children in their Sunday School for a few years. It was fun to talk with Meredith about her class, their funny personalities and sometimes disruptive antics. Meredith had been active in her local church for many years. Hosting events at the chapel in the camp was an annual tradition. There was an annual dance at the barns in August when everyone from town was shuttled out for a night of fun. The church met in the stone chapel in the camp many times in the convening years.

Amelia made a note to visit the chapel later that day. It had been too long since she had seen it and she had a sudden desire to go in and visit. The old church had been the backdrop of her wedding reception, held on the grassy expanse in front of the church and it was dear to her heart. Her favorite photo of Jack that day was taken there. They were taking candid shots together before the reception and they were talking and laughing together sitting on a white blanket in the grass. The cameraman had caught Jack's face at the perfect angle, showing his strong brow and chin in constrast to her own soft face. He was giving her a look that she loved, the one that spoke volumes. His bright blue eyes gleamed back at her in her mind as she remembered the picture, sincere, geniune, thrilling love beamed from them in her mind's eye and her heart ached to see his face in person. She had a hard time walking straight when she thought of those eyes.

When they reached the new cabins east of the main lodge, George and Meredith showed her around the new buildings. The camp was so far from anywhere else that they were unlocked. There were locks on each door but it wasn't necessary to lock anything way out here. Each cabin was outfitted with three comfortable bedrooms and a sitting room. There were comfortable furnishings set cozily near the fire. Each cabin must have cost over one hundred thousand dollars to build and even more to maintain. Living on their modest salaries made Amelia more aware of how costly this place must be to run but she was proud that Meredith had taken her father's financial legacy and built a place for so many. She would do the same thing if given the chance.

George and Meredith had work to do and Amelia decided to return to the boathouse to see if she could catch Jack at work. She called both home and cell numbers again just in case but got the same results as before. Today was Friday and she wondered if he would be out visiting clients. She reluctantly dialed his office and Sheryl, the secretary over all the reps answered. She was a bit of a gossip and Amelia didn't like her much. When Amelia asked for Jack, Sheryl seemed surprised.

"Well, Jack's not here, dear. I thought he was with you!" Sheryl replied.

Amelia's heart sank, "What do you mean?"

"Honey, he hasn't been in the office since Wednesday late afternoon. He called and said he was going out of town and could be reached by cell. He said he might be out of range for a few days," Sheryl said, her curiosity growing. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes, of course. I just thought... Never mind. I must have forgotten he was leaving. That's right he did tell me. I'll call his cell," Amelia answered.

"Are you two having some trouble?" Sheryl asked innocently.

"No," Amelia said emphatically, "And that is really none of your business."

"Well, don't get all huffy. There's no reason things won't work out." Sheryl replied. "You're a pretty girl. I think even more pretty than that gal that was here the other day."

Amelia shook her head in frustration, "What girl?"

"Tall, leggy brunette. Came in asking for Jack Wednesday morning, though he shooed her away right quick. Had eyes for your husband I'd say. Let's see what's her name?" Sheryl said absently lost in thought, "Samantha, I think it was?"

Amelia felt tears forming again. Samantha had been to his workplace?

"Oh right. She was in from out of town, I think. You don't have to worry about her." Amelia said.

That stopped Sheryl in her tracks, "Well, you should have seen the way they were talking in the hall. You could tell he didn't want her there."

I'm sure he didn't, Amelia thought savagely. "Was she there long?" Amelia asked.

"Not more than two or three minutes once Jack came out. I heard him say he would meet her later at the hotel," Sheryl replied juicily.

Amelia rolled her eyes, annoyed that she would try to incite a response. "Yes, well he met her there for lunch. I really need to go. I'll call Jack's cell." She hung up quickly and let out a cry of frustration. What a meddling old bitty! She wants me to be jealous! She wants me to think Jack is with Sam! Amelia's mind raced toward all sorts of conclusions. The part that was hard was that she was completely jealous and it galled her. Thoughts raced into her mind. Maybe he was with Sam. Maybe he had moved out when he found out she had come here! Maybe he was on his way to be with Sam and that was why he wasn't answering! The thought so enraged her that she couldn't sit still. She opened the front door only to see Meredith there coming toward her from the house. She wanted to storm off until she saw Meredith's face. Meredith smiled kindly and expectantly and Amelia tried to compose herself so that she would not cry right then and there.

"I just came to see if you would help me with a box or two in the extra room.” Meredith said with a touch on Amelia's shoulder, “We have a large group coming next week and hoped to have some of these things sorted and cleared out of here by then. Will you help me?"

Amelia thought longingly of the canoe outside but didn't want to disappoint Meredith. "Of course I'll help."

Meredith followed Amelia back into the boathouse and unlocked the extra room on the main floor and turned on the light. It was the smallest room in the house and had about nine or ten boxes in the corner. Meredith picked one up and took it out to the breakfast bar near the boathouse's kitchen. Amelia followed suit and they helped lug some the bigger boxes together. The last item was a large trunk that looked much like a treasure chest. Amelia had loved it for a long time. It used to sit at the base of Camilla's bed in her apartment here at the camp. It was covered in leather and the brass fittings had dulled with age and the large clasp keep it securely shut in place. Amelia felt drawn to it but waited for Meredith's instructions.

They spent a few hours sorting through books and knick knacks. Camilla had been a collector and samples of her collections filled the other buildings throughout the camp. These particular things had been in her residence and Meredith had kept them behind for the sentimentality she still held for these things. Camilla had been like a mother to her when her own had died at an early age and Amelia often felt that she and Meredith connected because they lost their mothers early. Amelia was always interested in Camilla. She seemed to have a fascinating way about her. Meredith smiled as she told stories about Camilla and her childhood here with her in the summers. Amelia loved to hear about her. She had made an indelible mark on her heart the year that she moved here and Amelia's heart waxed tenderly as she remembered their sweet days together.

Amelia remembered Camilla well though she never able to talk with her. She could talk to her but Camilla wasn't able to really respond. Amelia's first responsibilities when she had come to live at the camp were to watch over the ailing Camilla. Camilla or Aunt Milla as Meredith called her had suffered a stroke the previous year that made talking very difficult. Amelia often wondered how much she understood when she spoke to her. Amelia didn't know all that Camilla did during the day because she was at school. George had made sure that she had physical and occupational therapists to visit her in her apartment to help her get stronger. The therapies worked to an extent but she was very weak.

Meredith was busy with the opening and running of the Center and placed Amelia as Camilla's primary company through the day. There were days when she was too weak to get out of bed and a nurse attended her there. Amelia didn't know then that she was close to death. Nothing was ever said about her dying or getting worse though that was sometimes in the back of Amelia's mind.

She had never been around an old person in her entire life. Her own grandparents had died when she was young and she had never really been anywhere an old person in Camilla's state might be. Camilla was sweet and Amelia liked sitting with her and telling her about her day. Camilla would babble in response. At first this was disconcerting but after a while Amelia found it comforting. Camilla seemed to like her company. Her shining eyes would light up when Amelia entered the room and sometimes Amelia would sit at the table near her bed while she did her homework.

On the good days when the sun was shining Amelia pushed Camilla in a wheelchair around the lake path. They had improved it to accommodate the wheelchair so the rises were gradual and Milla could enjoy the view without much trouble.

Amelia would push the wheelchair slowly and talk about her day at school. Camilla would listen patiently and sometimes nod with understanding eyes. Other times she would seem faraway and Amelia would talk anyway. She told Camilla her whole life story complete with memories of her parents and her wish that things were different with them. As silly as it might sound to some being able to express those things out loud were a huge relief and allowed her more fully to share in her therapy sessions.

On every walk Camilla had one special spot that she like to stop. There was a break in the trees on the opposite side of the lake where she would always signal Amelia to stop. She couldn't speak but she would sit and stare out at the island from this vantage point and then close her eyes as if in prayer. This fascinated Amelia for the longest time. She grew to love the spot as well. She even had George bring two Adirondack chairs to set there so that she could rest while Camilla took her time looking out at the island. The chairs were still there overlooking the lake. She referred to it as Camilla's spot to this day and sometimes stopped to gaze out over the water from that place.

Amelia hadn't thought of Camilla in a long time. Meredith remembered her best. She was a spunky woman from the sounds of things. Some of the boxes were full of framed pictures. Amelia had never seen them before. They were of Milla in the 1940's. Her face was young and unlined and Amelia could see the Milla that she knew in them. There were pictures of her with two young men in front of the main lodge. The young men were handsome andand smiling in their army uniforms. Amelia asked Meredith about them but Meredith had never seen the pictures before either. Meredith thought that one of the young men looked like Sheldon Heaton, Camilla's husband. She wasn't sure who the other man was but hoped to find documentation that might lead to his identity. They had recently completed a library building that had once housed the old water pump and converted it into the library. Meredith wanted to set it up with pictures of the former residents of the camp and do a pictorial history of it's residents. She had many pictures of the first owners but didn't have many of Camilla and Sheldon. Meredith's busy schedule sometimes made these smaller projects fall by the wayside but this time with Amelia afforded her more time to work on it with some extra help and Amelia was happy to oblige.

Within a few hours they had all the boxes arranged. Some of the books would go to Meredith's private study in the main lodge and some of the others would be divided between the bookshelves of the different cabins. Their guests enjoyed reading from the plethora of books that were left in the bookshelves of each of the cabins. Sheldon's father had been a collector of books and the collections that filled many walls all over the camp were amazing. There were classics and westerns and vintage stories of that era. Camilla and Sheldon had continued collecting volumes throughout the years and Meredith occasionally added a volume or two when she found a book worthy of the shelf. Amelia could spend hours looking at the collection, wishing for more time to sit in one of the coziest chairs and read to her hearts content as she did when she first came to live there.

Meredith called a few of the groundskeepers to come and pick up the boxes and take them around. Most of the staff that lived on-site had been with Meredith since she had inherited the place from her father. Some of the jobs passed from father to son and mother to daughter. The Center was all about family and the staff was all about family as well. It was a long time tradition here to house families as well as the staff. Living so far from town made commuting difficult and Meredith and George enjoyed creating a communal atmosphere for their employees. As a result they had sent many a groundskeepers child to college or trade school. It was a joy to hear of their progress.

All of that would not have been possible without Camilla. She had been equally generous in her time as mistress of the camp and had kept the tradition alive during her time there.

Amelia had often wondered why Meredith's uncle Sheldon had not just left the camp to Camilla. She knew that times were different then and that Camilla might not have wanted to run the whole place alone but she wondered about that time here. There seemed to be a lot of missing information from the Great Depression time on and she and Meredith discussed trying to find out more about it.

Meredith left Amelia to see how lunch was coming along and Amelia sat down on the comfy sofa. All of the boxes had been cleared away, except the old trunk. She lit the fire and waited for it to warm the room up. It was a little chilly inside. She looked at the trunk that still sat on the floor. Her curiosity at what was inside grew. Amelia wondered if Meredith would care if she went through it herself. Meredith said that she hadn't had much time to look through it yet. Amelia thought it might be painful for her to go through even though so much time had passed since Milla's passing and decided it would be good for her to go through it first. She might be able to learn more about Camilla and identify the men in the picture.

Amelia got down on the floor in front of the chest and undid the latch. The lid of the trunk was much heavier than she had anticipated and she was careful not to let it slip and squish her fingers. She pulled the trunk closer to where she had been sitting smiled as she looked at the contents of the trunk. So many things to look at and identify. Her thoughts were far from her earlier worried as she focused in on the contents. She lifted each item carefully and arranged them on the coffee table in front of her being careful to place them gently. It wouldn't do to break any of them and spoil the plan for future display.

There were more pictures most of Meredith as a young woman. Camilla was very proud of Meredith and her pride showed in the amount of photos she had taken of her. There were photos of the improvements made to the camp as well and what things had looked like long ago. It still amazed Amelia how this place had been carved out of the forest. It was amazing that such a normal place could become extraordinary with a little work and ingenuity. There were a few trinkets and some jewelry. There were a few rings, and some costume jewelry. There were also some clothes. A small blanket in blue and little booties wrapped in tissue paper. There were cards and a few books of poems inscribed by Sheldon. There were some smaller volumes, too. With no inscriptions just the initials, CAC.

Amelia felt a little disappointed not to see a journal or diary. Amelia had scribbled in a journal since she was a small girl. Her mother hated it and always threw them out but since then Amelia carried her journal with her everywhere. Writing helped her make sense of things. It was disappointing that Camilla hadn't left more of a record.

Amelia decided it must be close to lunchtime. She carefully lifted the heavy lid to secure it back into place. The lid fell with a thud but she could not get the latch to fasten. She lifted the lid again to see that there was a bit of the lid lining that was loose. She lifted the lid slowly again to examine the lining. The other lining looked seamless and the tab seemed out of place.

Amelia got down on the floor to examine it closer. She could see where the lining was coming out of and her mind went wild when she saw that the lining was actually covering something brass. Amelia pried open the lining and realized that she had found a secret brass keyhole. She searched the trunk and the surrounding lining for the key that might fit the lock but there was nothing that even resembled a key. She was excited at her discovery and couldn't wait to find Meredith and show her the keyhole. Perhaps there was even more to discover in the trunk than they first imagined. The mystery made her forget her own problems for the first time in two days and Amelia fairly danced her way into the lodge to find Meredith.